Scott Adams (1957- )
American writer (pictured right with his cartoon strip character Dilbert) who takes a
funny and satirical look at office life.
The Dilbert Principle
(see for more detail The Dilbert Principle in the
Business Books section)
Principle says that:
“the most ineffective workers are
systematically moved to the place where they can do least damage: management”.
1.Get others to do your work (supporting
your case with a record for incompetence).
2. Exaggerate your talents.
Tips on people
One of the great lies of management is that ‘employees are our most valuable asset’.
The only happy employees are “those who avoid work while somehow appearing to be
productive” by, for example, surfing the internet.
Tips on marketing and
1. Marketing can be summarized as “if you lower the price you can sell more units”
2. Marketing's aim should be:
To create problems for your customers and then solve them (e.g. tell people they stink and
sell them deodorant)
3. Good advertising and dishonest salespeople will sell even bad products.
Tips on change
1. People fear and hate change (which is only caused by consultants).
2. Promoters of change are called “Change Masters”, when they’re actually “hapless
3. Change management programmes will avoid the question that every employee wants answered: ‘What’s
going to happen to me?’
Tips on communication
1. Business communication has only one objective – “to advance your career”.
2. Swearing is the second most important factor in a woman’s success after who you
Tips on preparing business plans
1. Gather information and...
2. Then ignore it.
Key quotes (definitions of management
Change management’s aim
To dupe slow-witted employees into thinking change is good for them by appealing to their sense of adventure and
love of challenge.
An intangible quality with no clear definition.
A person who takes your money and annoys your employees while tirelessly searching for the best way to extend
the consulting contract.
A long awkward sentence that demonstrates management’s inability to think clearly.
The opposite of good time management.
Key quotes on
We’re not screwing the customers. All we’re doing is holding them down while the salespeople screw them (the
marketing professional’s motto).
Thank goodness for the ignorance of your customers.
Key quotes on advertising and
Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks. That’s important because it takes the
pressure off you to make great products.
Smart salespeople will choose... a life of deception and treachery.
Key quote on
People hate change.
Key quote on
The budget process was invented by an alien race of sadistic beings who resemble large cats.