Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People
(1936)
![Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)](images/bbooks-carnegie-dale.jpg)
American self-improvement expert (pictured right) who spent 15 years preparing this first and hugely popular
book.
He died in 1955.
See also...
Dale Carnegie in the Management Gurus section.
Book summary
How to be successful and
influential![Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)](images/improvecon.jpg)
1. Motivate yourself and improve
- evaluate your performance continually.
- reward yourself for good behaviour.
2. Stay cool![Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)](images/stress-reflect.jpg)
- don’t criticize people unduly.
- accept that they are naturally emotional and full of prejudice, pride and
vanity.
- be tactful, understanding and
self-controlled.
3. Win people’s hearts![Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)](images/influencing-heading.jpg)
- appreciate (with heartfelt sincerity)
- feel excited about what people say and do (never say ‘You’re wrong’).
- listen patiently with an open mind.
- make people feel important.
- use their first name and encourage them to talk a lot, particularly
about themselves.
4. Empower others with humility, trust and
respect![Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)](images/trust%20.jpg)
- convince people that your ideas are theirs.
- encourage and praise them.
- talk about your mistakes before mentioning theirs.
- admit that you’re wrong quickly and emphatically.
5. Empathize
- always see other people’s point of view.
- be sympathetic with their ideas and desires.
![Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)](images/bbookscar1.jpg)
6. Sell yourself
Be a showman and dramatize your ideas.
But remember “you can’t win an argument”, because you:
- make the other person feel inferior.
7. Co-operate![Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)](images/influence4.jpg)
- emphasize the thing on which you agree.
- get the other person saying ‘Yes, yes’.
8. Never stop learning![Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)](images/learning-lifelong.jpg)
Listen to and learn from other people.
“Ask questions instead of giving orders”, says Carnegie.
Key quotes on influencing people
There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything... that is by making the other person want to do it.
The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
Your smile is a messenger of your good will.
The rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve
others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition.
Key quotes on relationships and friendship
If you want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm.
If we want to make friends, let's put ourselves out to do things for other people.
Key quote on customers
Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins
friends for you but may develop in its customers a loyalty to your company.
Key quote on communication
Pay less attention to what men say. Just watch they do.
Key quote on management
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Key quote on positive thinking
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
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