Dale Carnegie (1888-1955)
American self-improvement expert (pictured right) who spent 15 years preparing his first, and hugely popular,
book, How to Win Friends and Influence People (see below).
How to Win Friends and Influence People
(see for more detail How to Win Friends and Influence
People in the Business Books section)
To be successful and influential, you must:
1. Motivate yourself and improve
Evaluate your performance continually and reward yourself for good behaviour.
2. Stay cool
- don’t criticize people unduly.
- accept that people are naturally emotional and full of prejudice, pride and vanity.
- be tactful (understanding and self-control are vital).
3. Win people’s hearts
- appreciate and feel excited about what people say and do (never
say ‘You’re wrong’).
- make people feel important and use their first name.
- encourage them to talk a lot, particularly about themselves.
- smile sincerely, and listen patiently with an open mind.
4. Empower others with humility, trust and respect
- convince people that your ideas are theirs.
- encourage and praise them.
- talk about your mistakes before mentioning theirs.
- admit that you’re wrong quickly and emphatically.
- always see other people’s point of view
- be sympathetic with their ideas and desires.
6. Sell yourself
- emphasize the things on which you agree.
- get the other person saying ‘Yes, yes’.
Key quotes on influencing
There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything... that is by making the other person want to do it.
The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins friends for you but may develop in its customers a loyalty to
You can’t win an argument.
The principles in this book will work only when they come from the heart.
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
How to stop worrying:
1. Live in “day-tight compartments”
- concentrate on today and don’t worry about tomorrow.
2. Prepare yourself for the worst
(and calmly try to make things turn out better).
3. Make the best possible decisions
So gather all the facts and focus on the best solution.
4. Keep busy
5. Don’t worry about the past
(and what’s unlikely, trivial or inevitable).
6. Find peace of mind
- count your blessings (not your troubles).
7. Be yourself
Don’t imitate others and try to be what you’re not.
8. Follow fate
- if you’re given a lemon, make lemonade.
9. Think and act cheerfully.
10. Be energetic and enthusiastic
Key quotes on stress and
Our life is what our thoughts make it.
Imitation is suicide.
Confusion is the chief cause of worry.
When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.
The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not.
Rest is repair.