wisdom to win

 Wisdom to Win
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Dale Carnegie (1888-1955)Dale Carnegie


American self-improvement expert (pictured right) who spent 15 years preparing his first, and hugely popular, book, How to Win Friends and Influence People (see below).


Key books


How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)

 (see for more detail How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Business Books section)


To be successful and influential, you must:


1. Motivate yourself and improve

Evaluate your performance continually and reward yourself for good behaviour.


2. Stay cool

  • avoid arguments.
  • don’t criticize people unduly.
  • accept that people are naturally emotional and full of prejudice, pride and vanity.
  •  be tactful (understanding and self-control are vital).


3. Win people’s hearts

  • appreciate and feel excited about what people say and do (never say ‘You’re wrong’).
  • make people feel important and use their first name.
  • encourage them to talk a lot, particularly about themselves.
  • smile sincerely, and listen patiently with an open mind.


4. Empower others with humility, trust and respect

  • convince people that your ideas are theirs.
  • encourage and praise them.
  • never humiliate anyone.
  • talk about your mistakes before mentioning theirs.
  • admit that you’re wrong quickly and emphatically.


5. Empathize

  • always see other people’s point of view
  • be sympathetic with their ideas and desires.


6. Sell yourself

  • be a showman
  • dramatize your ideas.


7. Co-operate

  • emphasize the things on which you agree.
  • get the other person saying ‘Yes, yes’.


Key quotes on influencing people

There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything... that is by making the other person want to do it.

The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins friends for you but may develop in its customers a loyalty to your company.

You can’t win an argument.

The principles in this book will work only when they come from the heart.


How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (1944)

How to stop worrying:


1. Live in “day-tight compartments” 

  - concentrate on today and don’t worry about tomorrow.


2. Prepare yourself for the worst 

(and calmly try to make things turn out better).


3. Make the best possible decisions 

So gather all the facts and focus on the best solution.


4. Keep busy


5. Don’t worry about the past

(and what’s unlikely, trivial or inevitable).


6. Find peace of mind

  • pray.
  • count your blessings (not your troubles).
  • be kind to others.
  • expect ingratitude.
  • ignore unfair criticism.


7. Be yourself

Don’t imitate others and try to be what you’re not.


8. Follow fate

  - if you’re given a lemon, make lemonade.


9. Think and act cheerfully.


10. Be energetic and enthusiastic

  • relax. 
  • prioritize. 
  • clear your desk. 
  • get enough sleep.


Key quotes on stress and success

Our life is what our thoughts make it.

Imitation is suicide.

Confusion is the chief cause of worry.

When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.

The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not.

Rest is repair.

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